Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Scalded

I have found a searing rock in the persecuted church... the knowledge of it and of its members lays on my mind like acid--eating through me until there's nothing left but what is honest and pure... and I see plainly my hesitations to abandon myself for the kingdom.

I read accounts of persons who risk their lives on a daily basis to smuggle Bibles into areas hostile to the Gospel--and I think about my five Bibles that sit at home. (Three probably in the closet) I remember that sometimes I feel lethargic about reading it; sometimes I even avoid it because I know God will challenge me to something I'm not ready to answer "yes" to quite yet... sometimes I avoid it because it's just so CUTTINGLY SIMPLE--its words whittle deceptions and complexities down quickly to the-Truth or not-the-Truth. And yet Christians are DYING on a routine basis just to give somebody the OPPORTUNITY to decide whether or not to be apathetic. I read about Christians who are beaten for their faith--they live in inhumane conditions day after day after day... they are doggedly steadfast. They refuse to disappear into a life of secret conversion but instead WILLINGLY display their faith at the cost of shame and pain, not only involving them but also their families. They're not afraid to SACRIFICE. Every spare moment they have is used to praise God or pray for someone or smuggle another Bible, lead a hymn, encourage a Christian brother or sister... and it makes me consider the manner in which I use my time.

Sometimes I just don't feel like going to church. It's terrible, but many times I feel I learn more about God and His word at home, in the solitude of my room, in the quiet of my own mind. Less distraction, you know. Most of the time I would be pretty willing to skip the service and remain at my desk. But I'm reminded of God's warning not to forsake our gathering together--and I think about those who are living under hateful scrutiny in far off lands... I see the clandestine meetings of the underground church--I see people warranting their own death just to keep the weekly prayer service in the cellar!! And I think, WHAT FOR??!???! Is having a physical church body worth risking your life?!? Worship God at home!! BUT THEY WON'T!! To them, going to church is sacred. Being too intimidated to hold a service to worship the name of God is letting the devil take over the resurrection... and if we won't go to church here, we strip ourselves of the RIGHT to congregate!! We say, "This isn't important to us. We wouldn't even care if our religious freedom were taken." Don't we American Christians get it??? We HAVE TO FIGHT for Christianity in PUBLIC!! The world is already on a speeding train to hell... we've got to contend for every chance we have to make a ripple, keep the faith in action, keep it on the forefront... keep it of consequence at all. We have to keep on rejecting non-Biblical aspects of our culture, and defending human rights, and praying in public and going to church! We have to keep reading our Bibles and having our Bible studies, even if attending them leaves us more confused and frustrated than before.

Our cause is glorious! Christ is worthy... where are all those who will lay themselves down and not fear for the body!! Where are those who will lose the whole world but gain their souls??? The persecuted church is a golden example of endurance. Tenacity. Read the stories... pray for those who are being tortured in our places. In the words of John Piper, DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE. "You were bought with a price..." The church is the remaining fortress on the earth, holding the pearl of life in God--let us defend it as a bride who refuses to denounce her true love.

The persecuted church is a scalding coal on my readiness to activate lofty ideas, to recognize a motivation higher than fear, to crucify any molecules that slipped out from under the knife before... and I am scalded.

"People don't come to church for preachments, of course, but to daydream about God." -Kurt Vonnegut

Oh, dear Lord. Let us hear... but then let us DO according to Your will. (James 1:22)
May You return to a faithful virgin bride.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Somewhere I have never Travelled

I re-discovered one of my favorite poems today. Although I suppose I use the word "favorite" in a strange sense here... I like the poem for its expressiveness and it... it just has an explosive comprehension and depth that I feel I rarely find. It is probably for this precise reason that I sense myself at a certain distance from it--I find it fascinating, yet at the same time I'm compelled to feel oddly uncomfortable. It's by e.e. cummings and I believe he wrote it to describe the relationship between a couple, (in a romantic sense) but I suppose my personal interpretation is wider than that. I think it's entrancing...

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are the things which enclose me
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look will easily unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
that the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A Challenging Question

For me this has been a summer full of challenges. One question I've been asking myself over the last week or so is this one: Do I REALLY love and serve/ want to serve the God who says:

(this is a compilation of many "essentials" for the Gospel and also commandments or concepts that I personally find particularly difficult/ counter-intuitive, and/or unnatural. Please add to the list if you have something to add. Make comments. This is what I blog for :) And even if I don't know you, it's okay. I've been known to read (and enjoy) strangers' blogs on multiple occasions. I usually wouldn't comment though, because I didn't want them to feel unsafe or... something. But I insist... if you are a stranger, you're welcome to comment.)

1. LOVE your ENEMIES (This is not love when you are unloved in return… this is love when you are hated in return.) –Matthew 5:44
2. TRUST and OBEY Me (even if you don’t UNDERSTAND) –Psalm 37:3, Psalm 118:8, Deuteronomy 26:17
3. FOLLOW Me ANYWHERE –Mark 1:17, Matthew 19:21
4. HONOR your PARENTS and the AUTHORITY over you (as much as possible—“be subject to rules and ordinances. Pray for your kings and leaders,” etc.) -1 Timothy 2:1-2, Ephesians 6:1, Titus 3:1-2, Romans 13:7-8
5. LOVE and DEFEND the POOR and SICK and WIDOWED and ORPHANED (in other words, love and protect the unlovely/helpless) –Isaiah 1:17, Jeremiah 5:28, James 1:27, Matthew 19:21, Matthew 10:42
6. GIVE to the POOR, SICK, WIDOWED, and ORPHANED (in other words, sacrifice for the unlovely… money, time, resources… your life) –Matthew 19:21, 1 John 3:17-18, Galatians 6:10
7. USE MONEY for the KINGDOM (not for yourself) –Luke 12:33-34, Luke 12:42-43, Galatians 6:8, 1 Timothy 6:18, Hebrews 13:16, Isaiah 58:6-7
8. GIVE WITHOUT expecting ANYTHING in return (and GIVE to those who cannot GIVE BACK to YOU) –Colossians 3:23-24, Luke 14:12-13
9. FORGIVE (no matter how “justified” you seem to be in withholding forgiveness) –Matthew 6:12, Matthew 6:14
10. LOVE your NEIGHBOR as YOURSELF –Matthew 19:19
11. TAKE JOY in PERSECUTION for My Name –Matthew 5:10-12
12. DO NOT COMMIT SEXUAL IMMORALITY*a –Romans 1:24-27, Matthew 5:32, Acts 15:20, 1 Corinthians 6:18
13. AVOID DRUNKENNESS. –Ecclesiastes 10:17, Romans 13:13, Luke 21:34
14. DO NOT KILL*b -Mark 10:19
15. ACKNOWLEDGE Me in ALL your WAYS –Proverbs 3:6
16. DO GOOD –Deuteronomy 12:28, Psalm 37:27, Isaiah 1:17, Romans 12:21
17. TAKE NO THOUGHT for your LIFE -Matthew 6:25-30
18. Give Me your FIRSTFRUITS –Exodus 23:19, Proverbs 3:9, Ezekiel 48:14
19. DO NOT be AFRAID (even though I will ask you to do many bold things, which will probably result in making many enemies for you) –Psalm 91
20. BE PURE and HOLY (this includes actions, thoughts, even feelings) –Leviticus 20:26, 1 Chronicles 22:19, 1 Peter 1:16
21. SEEK Me and KNOW MY VOICE (even though the more you know of Me, the more I will challenge you, and the more critical—and likely condemning, in the world’s eyes—your faith will become) -Ephesians 5:10, Ephesians 5:17, John 10:27, 1 Chronicles 22:19
22. SUBMIT to your HUSBANDS (for all the women) –Ephesians 5:22
23. LOVE your WIFE as your OWN SELF (for all the men) –Ephesians 5:25
24. REMEMBER your FIRST OCCUPATION*c -Mark 1:17
25. GO to CHURCH (even though the church is not perfect… and even though the church may be full of hypocrites and lukewarm bench-sitters like nowhere else. You still go to church.) –Hebrews 10:25
26. GIVE THANKS in EVERYTHING -1 Thessalonians 5:18
27. DO GOOD in SECRET (don’t broadcast your “spirituality” so that everyone will see it and honor you for it; rather let it be between you and God—as an offering to Him alone so as not to pervert it) –Matthew 6:4
28. DO MY WORK MY WAY –Romans 9:20, Isaiah 29:13, Biblical principle of surrender
29. I AM THE PEARL OF GREAT PRICE –Matthew 13:44
30. BELIEVE (even if it doesn’t make any sense and no one else does—you be the one who stands up for me regardless of the cost) –Matthew 17:20, Mark 1:15
31. PICK UP your CROSS –Matthew 16:24
32. ONE person is WORTH SAVING to Me (so you should take this same attitude) -Matthew 18:12-13
33. TRUE LEADERSHIP is SERVANTHOOD –Matthew 20:26-28
34. TURN the OTHER CHEEK –Matthew 5:39-40
35. THE STONE which the builders REJECTED is become the HEAD of the CORNER*d -Mark 12:10
36. GO therefore and MAKE DISCIPLES of ALL NATIONS -Matthew 28:19
37. DO NOT JUDGE –Matthew 7:1-2
38. BE A WITNESS to the REBELLIOUS HOUSE –Ezekiel 2-3
39. PREACH and TEACH with GREAT PATIENCE, even to the END -2 Timothy 4:2
40. The GREATEST among you is he who is MOST OBEDIENT to ME –Biblical success principle
41. CHOOSE ME (sow fruit to reap fruit, invest time in eternal things, be not taken again into the yoke of bondage, etc.) –Biblical principle of priority
42. I AM THAT I AM, and MY WAYS are ALWAYS RIGHT (for who has been the Lord’s counselor? And can the clay say to the potter, why do You make me like this??) –Romans 11:34-36
43. Vengeance is MINE –Romans 12:19
44. Be GOOD STEWARDS (of time, money, the people around us and the people closely involved in our lives… in other words, remember that everything is the Lord’s. We are temporary caretakers only; also remember the source of all good gifts—only in Him) –Biblical concept of ownership/gifting, Matthew 24:45, Matthew 25:23
45. REMEMBER those in BONDS and PRAY for them (persecuted Christians and prisoners) –Hebrews 13:3
46. DIE to your LUST –James 4:2-4
47. HUMBLE YOURSELF before the LORD. –James 4:10
48. PRODUCE FRUIT, but as a NATURAL result of INNER CHANGE—NOT as a forced effort to be “VISIBLY, TANGIBLY HOLY” –Biblical concept of real conversion. Exemplified/ pointed towards different times through actions of the Pharisees
49. REJOICE EVERMORE -1 Thessalonians 5:16
50. BE READY for My RETURN at ALL TIMES. WATCH. -the parable of the 10 virgins; Matthew 25:1-13
51. COUNT IT ALL JOY when you fall into TRIALS (knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience) –James 1:2-3
52. DO NOT BE DECEIVED; PROVE the SPIRITS. AVOID profane, idle babblings and contradictions of what is FALSELY CALLED KNOWLEDGE*e -1 Timothy 1:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:21
53. LOVE ME BY KEEPING MY COMMANDMENTS (The 10 commandments which are summed up in the two over-arching commandments) –John 14:15
54. BE CONTENT. -1 Timothy 6:6; “Now godliness with contentment is great gain.”
55. REMEMBER that YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW. -Job 4:8, Hosea 10:12
56. LIVE IN EQUALITY under CHRIST (at least as an attitude) -Galatians 3:28, Colossians 3:11
57. SEEK NOT GLORY from MEN -Galatians 1:10, 2 Timothy 2:15, 2 Corinthians 10:17-18
58. BE AWARE that YOU ARE AT WAR and WALK ACCORDINGLY, WEARING the SPIRITUAL ARMOR… -2 Corinthians 10:4-5, Ephesians 6:11-18
59. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE YOUR ADVERSARY (for the devil walks about like a roaring lion, consuming whomever he may devour) -1 Peter 5:8
60. BEWARE of FALSE PROPHETS. -Philippians 1:15 (they will say they are Mine and will prophesy in My name, but are not of Me, nor in Me)
61. KEEP THE FAITH. –Biblical principle of steadfastness for the only thing worthy of undying perseverance and devotion
62. DO NOT USE ME as a MEANS to YOUR OWN ENDS. I AM THE LORD. I AM THE END. –Biblical principle of the Lord’s sovereignty and worthiness, Revelation 1:8
63. My expectations are HIGH… I need EVERYTHING. –Biblical principle of sacrifice and complete servitude, illuminated in Revelation 2, 3
64. Live THE CRUCIFIED LIFE. –the whole message; Galatians 2:19-20

“You’re the center of the universe; everything was made in You Jesus. Breath of every living thing… everyone was made for You. You hold everything together, You hold everything together…Christ be the center of our lives. Be the place we fix our eyes. Be the center of our lives. We lift our eyes to heaven; we wrap our eyes around Your life. We lift our eyes to heaven, to You.” –Charlie Hall, “Center”

*a: Sexual immorality, in my understanding (which is formed by clear scripture as well as my interpretations of said scripture) is an action and an attitude. What I mean by this is: Clear sexual immorality in the form of actions includes extra-marital sex, pre-marital sex, homosexuality, and rape. For a direct statement regarding homosexuality, reference Romans 1. Pre-marital sex is not mentioned explicitly in the Bible, but 1 Corinthians 7 alludes to sex as an activity performed within marriage. Rape is not singled out either but in Deuteronomy 22 there is an account of a young man who is killed by the Lord for raping a woman. In general, the Bible delineates rape as something men do to the women of their enemies, (in plunders and battles, etc.) suggesting that it’s not something that is “good;” certainly based on taking rather than giving, which isn’t in line with the way of the Spirit. As far as extra-marital sex, here are many Biblical references describing the house of Israel as a promiscuous, harlot wife in contrast to God’s ever-faithful love. Adultery is also mentioned and forbidden many times. Now for non-active sexual immorality: (what I will call sexual immorality that is NOT ACTED upon) fantasies of having extra-marital or pre-marital sex. Inappropriate flirting and thoughts. “Emotional” affairs are becoming more frequently spoken of these days; these are all included under offenses toward a holy God.
*b: Do not kill in this context clearly means do not murder another human. No murder, no assisted suicide. (Note here: Human euthanasia is different than deciding to take a comatose family member with poor quality of life/pain, after much consideration and prayer, off the ventilator) I personally also wonder about killing in self-defense. (upon the attack of, say, a burglar or even killer in our homes) Now before you say, “That’s ridiculous!!,” Let me ask a question: If I, alone in my home, encounter a burglar with a gun who looks as though he/she may use it in order to get what he/she wants, can I in good conscience kill him/her first to save myself… when I know that I am (more or less) prepared to meet the Lord—and I don’t know about him/her? Wouldn’t I want to give him/her every possible chance and not be the one to put a bracket on God’s mercy or longsuffering towards him/her? I know this is a hard question… I’m still thinking about it. And of course, if a family were involved it would become more complicated. WWJD…
*c: I think it’s neat that God asked his disciples (before they were actually disciples) to leave their nets and follow Him. They did this in a very literal way. Now I’m not going to say we shouldn’t do it in a literal way… what I will say is that I think no matter what our “job” is, the attitude should be there regardless… (this is presented in Luke 14:26-27) we are Christians FIRST and then plumbers, teachers, electricians, dentists, etc. We’re all prepared to leave our “nets” at the first clear (and proved) prompting if we haven’t already… and we should be prepared to bend and even break the rules at work if our Christianity so dictates. (ex. If sharing the gospel isn’t “allowed,” etc.)
*d: This is a wonderful verse that I think has an application in our own lives. God can, will, and has (in my experience) redeemed things that have seemed to be terrible mistakes and failures to increase His glory. Romans 8:28.
*e: We Christians, in this age, must be shrewd. Today especially there are many eloquent and intelligent voices claiming to be "logical," "objective," "modern," and "enlightened." Very few of them put credence in the idea of one God, and even less the God of the Bible. Many still place faith and "science" (the impartial quest for truth and the empirical judge of fact) at odds. We must stay informed sufficiently to test their words and know our position... God forbid the world be overwhelmed by lies crafted in sophistry.

Hello Far and Wide...

So I'm actually pretty excited about this blogging business. I don't know that I have any readers as of yet, but that's beside the point, eh? Clearly blogging is just an outlet for cluttered minds (like mine) or a narcissistic misuse of time, or a misanthropic attempt to clutter the minds of others. (so at least I'm not in misery alone...) No okay, seriously. I would really like this to be the generator of many great discussions (or at least comments/thought pools... suppose I take what I can get) and maybe take this opportunity to see if I might be any good at journalism. (That second item may or may not be true. My parents would be appalled if they knew I may or may not be thinking about another major/minor... but I guess that's what I'm saying. I don't even know if I am yet; probably not. So no use getting upset) Actually I'm wondering if I might sleep better at night because of this--in a way I would be surprised. Nothing has stopped my racing mind before... but if it actually does work, well... expect regular posts I guess. (To anyone who may be reading this--if in fact, there is anyone)

Today has just been odd so far. First of all, my alarm didn't work this morning. Consequently I was immediately annoyed. But in efforts to cheer myself and get started, I began working at trimming (as in paint) our front door (again) and used my fingers and knees for touching up/ dabbing off. Therefore I'm a little spotted at present. When I finished, I did a brief stint making new frames for my dad's honeybees. Then for lunch I made a cucumber sandwich. It was stellar--just a piece of bread, cucumber slices, miracle whip, and a little salt. I highly recommend it. Upon my consumption of it, I whisked myself off to an unexpected local service project in which I aided my mother in washing, drying, and folding monumental piles of laundry. That would bring us to now. So picture me... I'm back here typing as I eat my cereal--which is an unlikely mixture of bran flakes, shredded wheat, banana slices, honey, and orange juice. (We were out of skim milk) This psuedo-dessert reminds me of my friend's dad who is lactose-intolerant... apparently he eats cereal with orange juice routinely. When she told me that I thought it sounded crazy and never would have expected myself to enjoy such a concoction. (Although I actually am--I, the non-adventurous avoider of unfamiliar foods) So maybe you should try it sometime. This is pretty unreal... it's only 4:00 in the afternoon and already so many journal-worthy things have happened. Usually my everyday life isn't this interesting. Anyway, on to deeper matters...